Grounding, Clearing and Boundaries...Oh My!
Today, I want to offer you some guidance that you can apply right now to help you retain your own energy so that you can parent mindfully!
When we talk about our energy protection, there are three main places to start. There are thousands of ways to meditate, to protect your energy, and to redirect your energy, but if I have to break it down to the three most basic and the most simple, it would have to be grounding, clearing, and creating boundaries. As moms, if we can practice these areas regularly, we are well on our way to stronger mental health, less reactivity, and more mindfulness.
First: grounding. There are studies that provide scientific evidence that support the belief that grounding can help with both physical issues and also mental distress. While it can be very beneficial for physical symptoms such as chronic fatigue, pain, anxiety, depression, sleep, and cardiovascular disease, I am going to come at it from a mental and soulful perspective.
When do you need to practice grounding? Specifically, when you are feeling too much energy that is agitating or distracting you. It may seem laughable to be a mom with too much energy, but I'm not talking about the energy it takes to get things done. Sometimes energy is clutter in your brain, or thoughts that won’t slow down, or a physical feeling of agitation that can actually prevent productivity. When you’re feeling all of this energy crunched up in your brain, and sometimes even feel it in your body, the best technique is to ground. There are a few ways to do this. The first is very simple and straightforward. And that is simply to feel the ground or the earth. It is as simple as taking off your shoes and walking on the grass, or walking on the sand, and allowing the natural energy of the earth to enter through all of the sensory points in your feet to connect you to the ground. With more time, it can transition to lying down on the earth. Think stargazing or cloud-watching. If you would like a more detailed and a little bit lengthier grounding process, you can participate in a grounding meditation. I have provided a link at the bottom to a special episode of my Podcast that walks you through these meditations.
Secondly, sometimes we feel like we have extra energy or extra emotions that, if we are really paying attention, we realize are not actually ours. That sounds weird, but especially if you are an empath or an HSP, you absorb the feelings of those people around you. Empaths do it more than others, and it can actually make you unhealthy if you aren’t careful. Remember, we can not help our children to the best of our abilities if we are struggling along with them. Also as adults, we often have a harder time shaking this energy than kids who are generally more resilient. So we might take the energy of conversations with our boss, and arguments with our spouse, and the sadness of our child to bed with us, and suddenly we can’t sleep. So we need to clear this energy before it becomes toxic and all-consuming, and ultimately prevents us from sleeping. To start, I encourage you to grab your journal and contemplate the prompts I have offered below. Again, for clearing meditations, click on the link below. Remember, you can love those who struggle without taking their stuff as your own. The same holds true with current events. We sometimes feel intensely about horrible things that happen. You can send love to those who are affected, and do what you can to help, but it is important to not internalize the pain. I very strongly encourage you to clear every night before you go to bed, and remind yourself that this day is over and tomorrow you will be ready for a new one.
In addition to grounding and clearing, sometimes we need to create strong boundaries to retain our own energy. There are many, many boundaries that are critical to parents, but we are talking about energy boundaries now. Sometimes we know we are going to enter a conversation or a situation that is going to act as an energy vampire. Perhaps we know our child is suffering, and we want to be there for her, without getting drawn in. For this, I have a very simple strategy. We are going to create an imaginary boundary. If you practice this regularly, when you are calm, you will get very good at it and will be able to whip it out quickly when you discover that you need it.
Do some journaling, listen to some meditations, and fiercely protect your energy so that you can help those you love the most, without losing yourself.
1. Think of some times in your life that you have taken on the energy, the problems, or the feelings of others. Don’t judge yourself for this, just think about it. Jot down some examples.
2. What interactions make your mood tank? Mindfulness is about being aware of yourself and aware of the moment. If you are aware of certain interactions that make your mood tank, you will eventually be able to make some changes, if you so desire. The first step is being aware.
3. What would my mind and body feel like if I didn’t have the weight of others’ negativity on my shoulders?