We tell ourselves stories every day—some small, some monumental. Many of these stories are lies.
"I'm not good enough for…"
"People will think I'm too ___ if I ___…"
"I'm not smart enough to…"
These stories often arise from past experiences, sometimes as far back as childhood, shaping how we see ourselves without us even realizing it.
But what if you could break free from these limits? What if you could step out of invisibility, recognize your worth, and embrace the powerful person you truly are?
The exercise to challenge limiting beliefs is both straightforward and deeply complex. It can be done solo if you’re willing to be honest and sit with discomfort. Working with a coach can take you even deeper, helping you uncover stories you didn’t realize were there.
Start by paying attention to your self-talk. Take a few days to observe your thoughts. If it helps, imagine viewing yourself from above, noticing recurring themes in your inner dialogue.
Once you’re ready, choose a story that feels significant. It might be one you repeat often, one that’s easier to challenge, or one that causes you the most harm.
Ask yourself, what challenge is this story creating? Write it down. For instance, “My relationship is struggling.”
Then, write down the story you’re telling yourself: “I am not enough for this person.” Try not to judge it. This story is a part of you and deserves compassion. For now, don’t focus on why it’s there—just observe it.
Here’s the challenging part: say it out loud. Notice how your body reacts. Where do you feel it? If emotions arise, stay with them. Notice the effect this story has on you physically. Take your time.
Now, list what this story is costing you. Then consider the payoff. What are you gaining by holding on to this belief? Maybe it protects you from disappointment or shields you from taking risks. There’s a reason you’ve held onto this story, so acknowledge its role.
After a few deep breaths, ask yourself if this story is worth keeping. If it’s causing you pain, it likely isn’t.
Now, brainstorm alternative stories that are just as believable. If you’re working with a coach, they can help here. Remember, these replacements need to feel possible. Telling yourself, “I am the most amazing person this person has ever known” won’t work if you don’t believe it. Aim for something that feels honest and achievable.
List three or four new stories, then say each one aloud and notice which resonates the most.
With your new story chosen, create a plan. Find a way to keep it visible so it’s there to replace the old one whenever it tries to resurface.
This exercise is challenging and requires vulnerability. Approach it with kindness and compassion toward yourself.
Step fully into who you truly are, and gently let go of the person you only imagined yourself to be.
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